Bullying in Job Search

Let’s call this what it is. Not bias. Not misunderstanding. Bullying.

Naming What Too Many Ignore

A moment that leaves a bitter taste

Every so often in my work, I encounter something that stays with me longer than it should. This thing is not rejection. Neither is it bias, which many immigrants already expect to navigate with strategy and resilience.

I am speaking of what I see as well... cruelty.

The kind that shows up in a comment, a tone, or a subtle shift in how someone speaks to you. It may happen in a networking conversation or during an interview. It may appear in a message that feels dismissive or unnecessarily sharp.

And what makes it more difficult is this. Sometimes it comes from people you have known for years. You find yourself asking, quietly, Where did that come from?

In recent years, something has shifted. The political climate has made certain attitudes more visible. Ideas that once stayed in the background now show up more openly. For immigrants navigating the job search, this shift is not abstract. It is felt.

As a naturalized immigrant, a New Yorker, a black woman, a person of color, and a world citizen, I find this unacceptable.

Sometimes what you are experiencing is not just bias or misunderstanding.

Sometimes it is bullying. And it needs to be named.

Bullying does not always look obvious

When people hear the word bullying, they often think of something loud and unmistakable. In professional spaces, it is rarely that simple.

It can look like:

• Mocking someone’s accent or communication style

• Dismissing international degrees or experience

• Publicly questioning someone’s competence

• Making “jokes” that reduce credibility

• Shifting the tone of a conversation to undermine someone

These moments are often subtle enough to create doubt.

Was that intentional? Did I misunderstand?

The impact is real. Bullying attempts to shrink someone’s dignity.

And during a job search, when you are already navigating uncertainty, that impact can linger.

Not everything you experience in a job search is bias. Some of it is bullying. When it feels personal, it often is. Knowing the difference protects your dignity.

The energy is often felt before the words

One of the most difficult parts of this experience is that it is not always spoken about directly. You can feel it in the assumptions.

In the way your competence is questioned before you have had the chance to demonstrate it. In the quiet signals that you are being evaluated through a lens that has nothing to do with your actual work.

These assumptions rarely begin in the present moment. They carry ideas that have traveled across centuries. Ideas that were used to justify exclusion by reducing someone’s humanity.

When someone is seen as less capable, less intelligent, or less deserving, mistreatment becomes easier to rationalize.

This shows up in small ways during the job search. A dismissive tone. A skeptical question. An offhanded comment. A patronizing assumption that you do not understand how things work.

None of this reflects who you are. It reflects what has been learned, repeated, and left unexamined. And while a part of me questions my stance on this, bullying is the word that lands for me.

Why bullying often reveals more than it hides

Bullying can feel personal. It is designed to. But in many cases, it reveals more about the person engaging in it than the person receiving it.

The Oxford Dictionary defines bullying as repeated, unwanted aggressive behavior that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. Workplace bullying can manifest in various forms, including verbal abuse, intimidation, exclusion, and sabotage.

Psychological research often describes bullying as a reflection of insecurity, fear, or a lack of emotional regulation rather than a true reflection of someone’s worth.

Several patterns tend to appear.

• Projection of insecurity: People project what they struggle with. Someone who feels inadequate may question your competence.

• Lack of empathy: Bullying often reflects limited emotional awareness. It can appear immature or disconnected from the moment.

• Fear-based behavior: Aggression is sometimes used to create control where someone feels they lack it.

• Noise instead of reason: Bullying relies on volume, not clarity. To others, it often appears less like strength and more like instability.

What may feel powerful in the moment rarely looks that way from the outside.

Why immigrant professionals feel this more sharply

Immigrant professionals often encounter these behaviors more frequently, not because of who they are, but because of what they represent. Their presence challenges assumptions.

An accent. An international degree. A non-linear career path. A different way of communicating. These differences can trigger bias or discomfort in environments that expect familiarity.

But these same differences often reflect:

• adaptability

• resilience

• cultural intelligence

• the ability to navigate complexity

These are not weaknesses. They are strengths that are often misunderstood.

The deeper disappointment

There is another layer to this experience that is harder to name.

Sometimes the behavior comes from people you once respected.

Colleagues. Acquaintances. People within your professional network.

In some cases, people are trying to align themselves with what feels dominant in the moment. In others, they are revealing something that was always there.

Neither explanation makes it acceptable. Professional spaces should not normalize disrespect.

When bullying becomes real: what to do next

Recognizing the behavior is the first step. Responding to it requires clarity and strategy.

If it becomes persistent

Look for patterns, not isolated moments.

• Document what happens, including dates and language

• Save messages or emails when appropriate

• Limit your exposure where possible

• If this happens during an interview process, pay attention to what it reveals about the organization

You are not just being evaluated. You are also evaluating them.

How to respond in the moment

Not every situation requires confrontation. Some require calm redirection.

You might say:

• “Can you clarify what you mean?”

• “I’d like to keep this focused on my experience.”

• “I don’t think that reflects my work.”

And sometimes, disengaging is the most effective response. Walking away is not weakness. It is discernment.

Reporting and safety

If you choose to report, be strategic.

• Focus on behavior, not emotion

• Use clear and factual language

• Reference documented examples

If this occurs during a job search rather than within an organization, it may be more effective to redirect your energy.

Not every environment deserves access to you.

Finding support

You do not have to navigate this alone.

Support can come from:

• trusted peers or mentors

• professional communities

• coaches who understand immigrant experiences

• advocacy or legal resources if needed

Sometimes support is not about escalation. It is about clarity and grounding.

Managing the emotional impact

Bullying can linger beyond the moment.

Protecting your emotional well-being is part of your job search strategy.

• Step away before responding

• Talk through the experience with someone you trust

• Separate the incident from your identity

• Reconnect with your strengths and accomplishments

One interaction does not define you.

The job search is not a test of your humanity

Searching for work is already demanding. It should never require tolerating humiliation. If someone attempts to diminish you because of your background, your accent, or your path, pause before you internalize it.

Their behavior reflects their limitations, not your worth.

You crossed borders. You rebuilt your life in a new system. You learned unfamiliar rules and kept moving forward. That is not weakness. That is resilience.

You are not imagining this. And you are not the problem.

References

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2023). Bullying and youth violence prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/youth-violence/about/about-bullying.html

Psychology Today. (n.d.). Bullying. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/bullying

National Institutes of Health. (2020). Bullying and mental health outcomes. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7345273/

The Conversation. (2023). Why are bullies so mean? https://theconversation.com/why-are-bullies-so-mean-a-youth-psychology-expert-explains-whats-behind-their-harmful-behavior-213211

Starr, R. J. (n.d.). Why people bully. https://profrjstarr.com/the-psychology-of-us/why-people-bully-the-psychology-behind-power-and-control