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What Your Words About Others Say About Your Career Story

Updated: 1 day ago

The Interview Question That Reveals More About You Than You Realize

Most job seekers rehearse the usual interview questions: “Tell me about yourself,” “What’s your greatest strength?” or “Why should we hire you?” But every so often, an interviewer will flip the script:

“Think of three colleagues you know well. How would you describe their teamwork, leadership, or problem-solving skills?”

At first, this might feel like a detour. After all, what does describing someone else have to do with your candidacy? A lot, actually.

This insight first caught my attention in an Inc.com article inspired by psychological research. It reminded me of client stories I’ve witnessed for years: how the way you speak about others often reveals just as much about your own values and personality as any self-description ever could.

A diverse job interview setting with two interviewers listening to a candidate, highlighting how describing others reveals personality and strengths.
How you describe others in an interview reveals more about your personality than you realize. Choose your words wisely.

Why It Matters for Immigrant Professionals

For first- and second-generation professionals, the interview room is already layered with cultural codes. Many of us were raised to be humble — to downplay our achievements so as not to seem boastful. That can make traditional self-focused questions feel uncomfortable.

When the spotlight shifts to describing others, it can feel safer. But here’s the catch: your descriptions reflect your worldview.

  • Talk about coworkers as collaborative and generous, and you signal that you value collaboration.

  • Focus only on their flaws, and you risk coming across as difficult to work with.

  • Balance both strengths and challenges, and you demonstrate emotional intelligence and fairness.

I once worked with an Admissions Manager who, when asked to describe a difficult situation involving his team, zeroed in on poor attitudes and conflicts. By the third sentence, the interviewer was already forming a picture of him as hard to please. After coaching, he learned to balance honesty with growth: describing what colleagues did well and what he learned from their weaknesses. That simple reframing helped him show up as both candid and growth-oriented.


The two weathered stone faces with eyes closed. Over lay text How you see others reflects how employers see you.
Your words about others tell a story about you.

Research Insights: Why This Question Works

Psychologists have studied this dynamic for years, and the findings are clear.

  • Self-ratings vs. other-ratings only modestly overlap. Agreement usually falls between r = 0.30 and r = 0.55 (Humberg et al., 2019). Which means that describing others may actually reveal unique aspects of your personality that self-reports miss.

  • Your tone reflects your traits. People who describe others as capable, kind, and collaborative tend to score higher in happiness, agreeableness, and emotional stability (Wood et al., 2010). Consistently negative descriptions, by contrast, often signal higher neuroticism and lower well-being.

  • Employers care. According to LinkedIn’s Global Talent Trends 2024, 92% of hiring managers rate soft skills as equally important as technical skills. And TalentSmartEQ found that 90% of top performers score high in emotional intelligence.

In other words, the way you describe others in an interview isn’t a side note. It’s a live demonstration of your own soft skills and emotional intelligence.

"Describe the best employee you've ever worked with." - Jeff Haden

How to Prepare for These Questions

Here’s a three-step practice you can use before your next interview:

  1. Choose three past colleagues, classmates, or supervisors. Write down their top strengths and one area they struggled with. Keep it balanced.

  2. Notice your own values. Do you admire problem-solving, initiative, or empathy? Chances are, these are the very qualities you hold or aspire to build.

  3. Connect it back to your story. After describing others, be ready to add: “That taught me the importance of… and it’s something I bring to my own work.”


Interviews are not just about listing your skills — they’re about showing how you see the world of work. When you describe others, you are really telling a story about yourself.

So the next time you’re asked to reflect on colleagues or leaders, take a breath. Choose your words with care. Show that you value collaboration, resilience, and growth. Employers will hear those qualities in you, too.


Let’s take the next step together. If this blog resonated with you, here’s how to move forward:



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